FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER (1965)

When an atomic war on Mars destroys the planet's women, it's up to Martian Princess Marcuzan and her right-hand man Dr. Nadir to travel to earth and kidnap women for new breeding stock. Landing in Puerto Rico, they shoot down a NASA space capsule manned by an android. With his electronic brain damaged, the android terrorizes the island while the Martians raid beaches and pool parties.

The Frankenstein monster does not appear in this film. Rather, we get the android astronaut Colonel Frank Saunders. Colonel Saunders (no KFC jokes, please) loses the left half of his face when a Martian blasts him with a ray gun, leading to his island rampage—if you can call it that. Saunders kills a few people, but for the most part wanders the island with his mouth open.

The film is composed of at least 50% military stock footage. What's left is not, despite what you may have heard, a campy delight. Indeed, this is a rather dull viewing experience. Factor in Z-grade music, including a British pop duo that rips off the Chad & Jeremy sound, and you have a cult “classic” that is anything but.

Item: The Martian spaceship is about 50 times bigger on the inside than it looks from without. A tip o' the hat to the TARDIS, or just rotten production values?

Item: The space monster is silly-looking but severely underused.

Item: The kidnapped women are amazingly calm and nonchalant about being abducted by Martians, forced to board their spaceship, probed and prodded, and—if they're found unsuitable—sent to the purification chamber to be erased from existence.

Item: The chamber's walls are visibly made of plywood.

Item: Marilyn Hanold, who stars as Princess Marcuzan, was Playboy magazine's Playmate of the Year in 1959.