SNOWBEAST (Made for TV, 1977)

SNOWBEAST has a good-looking cast and majestic scenery, but is nothing more than a JAWS retread. Instead of the ocean, we're in the Colorado mountains. Instead of beach season, it's Winter Carnival. Instead of a shark, there's a homicidal Yeti. Instead of Roy Scheider, there's Clint Walker. And instead of a boat, they're gonna need a bigger snowmobile.

The cast includes Bo Svensson as a retired Olympic skiier who's afraid to return to the slopes, Yvette Mimieux as his estranged wife, Robert Logan as a family friend who's also in love with Mimieux's character (the sub-plot goes nowhere), Clint Walker as the beleaguered sheriff, and Sylvia Sidney as a ski-resort owner who doesn't want the slopes shut down just because a monster is tearing people to shreds with its big-ass claws. The only decent performance is Mimieux's, though Svensson at least appeared to enjoy playing his role.

Since this was a TV movie, the killings are implied rather than seen. (Remember, this was the age of the Family Hour.) In fact, we barely see the creature at all. SNOWBEAST primarily consists of endless scenes of skiing, snowmobiling, and the uninteresting cast of characters baring their souls between Yeti murders.

Life hack: if a snowbeast is charging at you and you're out of bullets, stab the monster with your ski pole. This will knock it backward into a conveniently placed gully, where the creature will fall to the bottom and passively wait to die. At least, that's what happens here.