THE CORPSE VANISHES (1942)
One of the many third-rate horror films that Bela Lugosi did in the 1940s, this one fully earned its place on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Lugosi plays (what else?) a mad scientist, one Dr. Lorenz, whose talents include physics, horticulture, hypnotism, reversing the aging process, and committing strangulation murders (but only when necessary). Lorenz resides in a creepy old mansion (complete with secret passageways) with his ailing but violent wife The Countess (Elizabeth Russell), his old-hag servant Fagah (Minerva Urecal), and her two sons, a simple-minded hulk named Angel (Frank Moran) and a three-foot dwarf named Toby (Angelo Rossitto).
The plot: young brides are dropping dead at the altar, after which their corpses mysteriously disappear. Both the cops and the newspapers focus on who is stealing the dead brides and why. Seems it never occurs to them (or to public health officials) to wonder why these strapping young women have all bought the farm just as they're about to say “I do.”
Hard-boiled reporter Patricia Hunter (Luana Walters) becomes suspicious when she sniffs the orchid the last bride wore, only to feel faint herself. Patricia found the orchid on the chapel floor, in the spot where the bride had collapsed and croaked. Rather than turn this evidence over to the police, Pat keeps the flower and begins her own investigation of the matter. This leads her to Dr. Lorenz's mansion.
Long story short: Lorenz is using a special type of orchid that he hybrided himself to kill the brides when they sniff the flower. Seems the good doctor needs “fluids” from the newly-deceased brides to inject into his elderly wife so that she becomes young again. Exactly which “fluids” perform such a miracle? And why is it imperative that the dead women all be brides? The screenwriter never bothered with such trifles.
Item: the film provides numerous headshots of Lorenz looking very, very sneaky.
Item: For a supposedly hard-boiled reporter, Patricia has a penchant for fainting when things become dangerous. She does this more than once, leading me to wonder if she suffered from undiagnosed narcolepsy.
Item: The hunchbacked, non-verbal Angel gets his jollies from stroking the hair of the dead brides, who Lorenz keeps in a morgue below his mansion. When Lorenz finds him engaged in this necrophilia, he flogs Angel with a whip and tells Fagah, “He's at best an animal. Someday, I shall have to destroy him.” Yes, he tells that to the mother whose son he just flogged right in front of her. Not a nice man, our Dr. Lorenz!
Item: when a cop sees Lorenz loading a passed-out Patricia into his car, the officer responds by pulling out his gun and firing, which kills Toby the dwarf. I suppose yelling “Police, stop!” was too much effort.
If contrivance or cliches are your forte, this film explodes with each.
