TREASURE RAIDERS (2007)

When does homage cross the line into plagiarism? When it's the joint U.S./Russian film, TREASURE RAIDERS--or as I call it, “Indiana Jones and the Fast & Furious Da Vinci Code.” After sitting through 90 minutes of this, I'm thinking Glasnost was not such a good idea after all.

Michael (Steven Brand), an American professor teaching history at Moscow University, finances his passion for treasure hunting with competitive street racing. His racing nemesis, Wolf (Alexander Nevsky), becomes his ally when they embark on a quest to search for an ancient Russian treasure. There's also a sub-plot involving drug dealers, and David Carradine turns up as well.

Nevsky, a one-time bodybuilder, appears to have based his acting style on Schwarzenegger--understandable if you've no ideas of your own. His acting makes Steven Seagal look like Daniel Day-Lewis.  Not that the rest of the cast is any better. Steven Brand, a Tim Allen lookalike, is about as credible an action hero as Will Geer. Sherilyn Fenn, who plays Wolf's sister, shows none of the acting chops that got her cast in “Twin Peaks,” “Wild at Heart,” and “Of Mice and Men.” As for Carradine, he shows even less interest here than in “Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2.” (If you haven't seen it, spare yourself the agony.)

There is literally nothing to recommend this film to anyone. The plot is wafer-thin, the dialogue is forced, the camera work is amateurish, and even the car chases are uninteresting. There are some feeble attempts at humor too, but I'll show mercy by not giving an example.

Item: Though the film set in Moscow, not one character has an authentic Russian accent.

Item: Wolf's car features a collapsible headlight that conceals a missile launcher. I knew street racing was dangerous, but goddamn!

Item: In the final car chase, a policeman pursues our heroes and villains. Since he never calls for back-up, I'm guessing there's only one police car in Moscow.

Item: Alexander Nevsky studied acting at the Lee Strasbourg Theater Institute. He must have threatened to beat the crap out of someone, because he damned sure didn't get in through his talent.

Item: The budget for this film was $10 million. Except for the wrecked cars, I've no idea what they could have spent it on.