That bad thing you saw? These are worse!

I could write a book on this heavy-handed Italian-made cliché fest. The filmmakers treated a simple space opera like it was King Lear!

ASSASSIN OF YOUTH was made by people who clearly knew nothing about pot beyond the government's lies and propaganda.

Imagine a movie so inept, it makes every Ed Wood film look like “The Deer Hunter.” That would be “A*P*E,” a joint American/South Korean attempt to cash in on Dino DiLaurentiis' remake of “King Kong.”

The title was an obvious attempt to cash in on two far better movies of the time. If you're in the mood for a juvenile-delinquent film, you'd be better off with “High School Confidential.”

It suffers from a lack of set pieces, indifferent performances, abrupt and senseless plot twists, a scientific explanation that defies belief, misogynist violence all too typical of this era, and a conclusion that makes even less sense than the rest of the film. Not to mention a title character who's invisible, not transparent.

Spartan sets, uninspired acting, shoddy production values, and characters about whom one simply does not give a damn.

As the reptilian Paul, Richard Crane bears thick layers of clay on his face and hands (but nowhere else on his body) and speaks in a low-pitched growl that suggests a reel-to-reel tape being played at a low speed.

For its many flaws, “The Alien Factor” exuded a raw energy and homespun enthusiasm that captivated me. Try as I might, I simply cannot hate this film.

The first 45 of this 55-minute exercise in annoyance and boredom is filmed in black and white and features non-stop sex scenes about as erotic as a Massengill ad.