That bad thing you saw? These are worse!

This Italian-made attempt at gothic horror takes place in England—except most of the characters have Mediterranean complexions, and they drive on the right side of the road. This is a turgid, malevolent, muddled excuse for a thriller.

This was a police training film that ended up getting a theatrical release. Filmed in full color, its technical advisers included both a narcotics detective and a reformed heroin addict. As such, THE NARCOTICS STORY has a strong air of authenticity about it

During its first four minutes, the film tells us twice that it's based on actual events. I'm guessing MONSTROID was fact-based in the same way that FARGO was.

It was all done before, and the filmmakers knew it. This was simply Nikkatsu Studios' attempt to cash in on Japan's monster-movie craze.

Christian filmmaking's answer to “Birdemic,” this $10,000 catastrophe gives new meaning to “holy shit.”

I can just hear director Willard Huyck saying, “Scary? Hell no! I want my zombie film artsy, pretentious, and dull.”

Though Ed Wood had nothing to do with this film, it bloody well could have been his. It's just as badly written, acted, and directed as anything Wood created.

This "Friday the 13th" retread is about a newly-opened campground terrorized by a serial killer—in this case, a feral teen-ager with gag teeth, a New York Dolls wig, and a Party Express caveman suit.

Much of the movie consists of walking and driving scenes, tin-ear dialogue between fifth-rate Godfather wannabes, and Johnny's travails at the hands of Whitey®.

Horace B. Carpenter is particularly blustery as the hypertensive Meyerschultz. I've heard of hamming it up, but this guy was trichinosis incarnate!

The Earth's oxygen supply temporarily disappears, sparing just three SCUBA divers. Suffice it to say, this is no ON THE BEACH.

To his credit, Peter Graves remained stoic throughout this turgid 71-minute exercise. Still, it's amazing he ever had a respectable acting career when he starred in so much crap.