That bad thing you saw? These are worse!

The film is composed of at least 50% military stock footage. What's left is not, despite what you may have heard, a campy delight. Indeed, this is a rather dull viewing experience.

If gratuitous gore and smarmy sex are your forte, this film has plenty of both (often at the same time).

It features an intense catfight between two hot female vampires. I'm guessing that's why film was made.

This hilariously stupid film was edited together from three episodes of "Supa Jaiantsu," a Japanese TV show about an extraterrestrial superhero called Starman. (Funny, he doesn't look Jewish.)

In the right hands, EVIL BONG might have been a clever and funny send-up of cannabis culture. Unfortunately, writer/director Charles Band confused humor with profanity-laced sexism. The so-called “jokes” here make PORKY'S look feminist.

The film makes repeated references to "Dead Hour," when ghosts come alive in our world. Dead Hour lasts from 3:00-4:00 a.m. But in which time zone? And does Dead Hour take Daylight Savings Time into account? Hell, I've put more thought into this review than they put into their film!

This "Exorcist" ripoff had nearly as many titles as Elizabeth Taylor had husbands.

An awkward, lumbering attempt at gothic horror-- filmed in that noted bastion of goth, San Antonio.

On a purely technical level, it's even worse than MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE. However, I firmly believe its ineptitude was 100% intentional, that the filmmakers were trying to create a campy soft-core porn film.

The acting and production are good; the big problem is the script. The plot is just too damned complicated; it would've been better suited to a James Bond film.

If the action genre has its own version of Tommy Wiseau, it's Kirk Fogg, the writer, director, and star of DISTORTION, as ineptly made a thriller as “The Room” was a drama.

Moviegoers who paid money to see what they thought was a horror film were likely disappointed. However, I knew exactly what I was getting into. DIE, SISTER, DIE surprised me by turning out much better than I expected.